The One About the Romance Author and the Break-Up

Hello once again, my lovely readers. I know you were all expecting the already long-overdue release of Flying High, and the much, much longer awaited release of Tangled Love. And some of you who might be newer readers are probably confused and frustrated by the unexplained disappearance of those two pre-orders from the store. And I know at least a few of you have been asking why I suddenly disappeared entirely from Twitter and my blog.

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Fifty Shades of Grey Revisited Chapter Four: THE DARKNESS

*Beleaguered sigh* Well… Flying High was supposed to have been out a week ago, but things got delayed by again mostly due to stuff I had to do for my new day job that I just started (oh yeah, I got a new job, btw, yay me; leave it to me to think I could manage to release a book and start a new full-time job at the same time while also still working another part-time job for at least the next couple months), plus I realized “oh shit, I should probably file my tax returns already before I forget and do it at literally the last possible moment yet again,” plus I finally got my official ADHD diagnosis back, except the small neuropsych practice that did my eval. doesn’t actually do treatment, so now I need to go through the whole process again of being referred to a doctor… you could say I got a little overwhelmed. Oh, and then my computer crapped out on me for a couple days and of course I panicked thinking I’d have to get a new one, but thankfully it wasn’t as bad as all that. This laptop is definitely on its last legs, though, so I’m thinking I might have to just bite the bullet and put at least some of that $1400 COVID relief check towards a new one.

By the time I was able to adequately focus on putting the final touches on my manuscript I figured I’d still be able to have it for sale by this past weekend, but alas, no. My books seem to usually get stuck in review on KDP for a while, so we’ll see how this week goes. Sorry it looks like it’ll still be at least a few more days, but hey, at least you have this recap to tide you over, right?

Basically how I’m feeling right about now…

Oh, and in other news that you may or may not care about, I literally just found out that Freed (the upcoming final installment of 50 Shades from Christian’s POV) is going to be 768 pages long. That’s almost two hundred pages longer than the original Fifty Shades Freed, and on average, a little over two hundred pages longer than most of the other books in the series. What’s contained within those extra 200 pages remains to be seen. The secrets of the universe? A surprise “ten years later” epilogue in which Ana fakes her own death to escape her abusive marriage and in the course of the investigation it’s revealed that Christian was a serial killer all along? Maybe after selling her soul in exchange for these books being a massive success, ELJ was forced to uphold her end of the bargain by copying and pasting an excerpt from the Necronomicon right in the middle of the book, and all who read it shall be damned for eternity. All I know is Freed was in the “books you make like” section of the Amazon page of one of my books, so she’d better appreciate the free promotion I’m unwillingly giving her.


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Fifty Shades of Grey Revisited Chapter Three: Clown Car of Awful

Yes, I’m back with more Fifty Shades already, even though I said I might be taking the week off while I focused on the upcoming release of Flying High. Well, I’d started working on this post just so I could be sure to have it done and scheduled to go out next Monday after my book release, not at all intending to actually finish it today. But then I found out I’d managed to miss the latest E.L. James news: Freed, aka Fifty Shades Freed from Christian’s POV is finally coming this June, everyone. Fucking called it. And I guess I just felt so inspired that I simply couldn’t stop working on this recap. Although, I can’t exactly say I’m shamelessly capitalizing on this news for clicks, because no one seems to be even talking about it. Whether it was overshadowed by all the royal family drama dominating Twitter’s trending topics or the fact that ELJ really has slipped that far into obscurity by now I’m not sure, but either way it makes me happy. Even though I’m so damn committed to these recaps at this point that you know I’m eventually going to swallow my pride and buy the book…

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Fifty Shades of Grey Revisited Chapter Two: …Or Something

I had the most demoralizing thought when I woke up this morning. I turn 28 this year, which means I’m officially the same age as Christian Grey. Our birthdays are even relatively close. I await my $1,000,000,000 check in the mail.

A few housekeeping things before I start. First, I noticed rather belatedly that I’d quoted a few hefty chunks from the book(s) in my first post, which generally isn’t best practice when blogging about a book. I’ll try to break up longer passages I want to quote into smaller chunks with commentary or gifs in between from now on.

Also, I guess it’s the WordPress theme I’m using, but long quotes in their little indented quote block thingys are automatically italicized, so things that were originally italicized in the book don’t show up as different than the rest of the text. So, I’ll just be underlining italicized portions of quotes instead.

Just like last time, quotes from FSOG will be in blue, but quotes from Grey will now be in green, and when included in the same paragraph as my own text, quotes will be bolded and italicized as well. I hope the colors aren’t too confusing; I’d prefer to use red to green, but since changing my site’s theme colors so that links stood out more, links now show up as pink, and I thought the shade was too close to red.


When we last left Ana, she couldn’t seem to get out of Christian Grey’s office fast enough after the most thrilling interview to ever put me to sleep. Little did she know, Mr. Grey was at that very moment having some guy named “Welch”–his pet private investigator?–run a background check on her. As one does, of course.

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Fifty Shades of Grey Revisited Chapter One: So, We Meet Again, my Old Nemesis

It’s 2021, bitches, and do you know what that means? Yep, it’s the 10th anniversary we’ve all (?) been waiting for: Fifty Shades officially turns a decade old.

I feel like I’ll be getting a lot of mileage out of Lonely Island jokes since there’s really nothing more early-mid 2010’s than Fifty Shades and The Lonely Island.

So, uh, yeah, we’re really doing this. This is where my life is at right now. As you might recall from my last blog post, I had a few more announcements that I didn’t get around to since it got just a little long-winded. So, surprise! You’re getting the chapter-by-fucking-chapter Fifty Shades sporking/recap/(mental)breakdown you didn’t ask for, because it’s not like that’s ever been done before.

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So, It Looks Like I Have ADHD… (And So Does my Main Character…)

Long time no see, my lovely readers! I know it’s been a hot minute since you’ve heard from me, as I’ve just been kind of a creepy recluse for the past half a year or so who keeps postponing book releases and retweeting things on Twitter. But, if you happen to recall my last couple blog posts and more recent stream-of-consciousness Twitter threads (though I don’t know why you would), then you should have a fairly decent idea of what’s been going on with me.

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A Quick Update and Apology

Hello, all. First off, a quick apology to those of you how might’ve already pre-ordered Flying High for Dec. 14th. Some of you are probably surprised and maybe a little upset that it was on pre-order, but as I’m embarrassed that I’ve had to move and cancel pre-orders in the past and mostly wanted to do so to make setting up links in the backmatter of my other books and promotional stuff easier, I hesitated to make a big announcement about it. As you have probably already guessed, I once again had to adjust the release date. It will be out once and for all on Dec. 26, however, and I’m also working hard to bring you an early Christmas surprise… though given all the wild ups and downs that have been happening in my life lately that lead to me postponing my upcoming releases yet again that I’d been literally in tears over with both anxiety and excitement, I can’t make any promises. 

You might have also noticed that Dec. 26 was originally the pre-order release date for Tangled Love, and probably still appears as such on Amazon as you’re reading this email, since KDP can be pretty slow to update. Long story short (and I promise I’ll give you more details on what’s been going on with me, like I promised in a blog post months back, but the basic version is I now know much of my depression and anxiety stem from ADHD, yay), after a lot of hard deliberation, I decided to yet AGAIN switch the planned release dates of Flying High and Tangled Love. I know, I know, I really need to figure out how to focus on one single writing project long enough to finish it in a reasonable time, but I promise I’m working on it. Like, starting therapy with a new counselor and possibly getting on medication working on it.

So, the final (I hope and pray) and absolute release dates for each book will be Dec. 26 and Jan 9, respectively. And I mean it when I say this was hard, because I’ve been beating myself up over the fact that it’s already been over TWO YEARS since Strictly Business came out, and I’m ashamed of the fact that I’ll now be pushing the release of book three of The Loft series into year 3. I figured I might as well give up and throw the whole thing out before I could stomach doing that, but it is what it is at this point, and I know myself at least well enough to know that I can’t have it done in time for the end of 2020. I hope that those of you who’ve enjoyed Tera and Eric’s story so far are still willing to stick it out for just a few more weeks, because despite how long it’s taken, I am really proud of this latest installment–of how far they’ve come as characters and how far I’ve come in my writing since my first book.

Did I say this was going to be quick? Sorry about that. Anyway, that’s the somewhat abbreviated version of what’s been up with me, and I hope you all aren’t too mad at me and are still eager for the next installments of both of my ongoing series. I will say that I am very hopeful about next year (and yes, I know I’ve said that kind of thing several times in the past), and I have a lot of big plans. And while I am trying to be realistic about things, I do also have reason to believe that things are genuinely turning around for me this time, and that next year I’ll actually be able to put out multiple books. I mean, I guess it helps that I’m always jumping around between projects and I basically have six novels entirely plotted out in my head at any given time…

And I wasn’t kidding when I said there might be a Christmas surprise to look forward to in a few days… the surprise being if I can actually finish it before Christmas! Yay me for having a literally last-minute bright idea to bring a bunch of half-baked and abandoned side projects together for a holiday-themed short story collection when I really needed to be working on one of my two long-overdue books. To be fair to myself, though, I do feel like it was good for my mental health during a period when I’ve pretty much been at rock bottom to take a break from pulling my hair out trying to focus on my main books to write a few side stories featuring my characters that were mostly just for me, but hey, if you guys want to read them as well, that would be amazing.

And just one final note, you might have also noticed that the model stock photos on the covers of High Risk and Risky Business have been switched and were wondering why. Well, I’m guessing a hand lightly cupping the underside of a boob is too risque for Amazon, because the original cover was rejected when I tried to submit High Risk for Amazon ads a few months back. The simplest solution at the time seemed to be to swap it out for the “more innocent” pose on the Flying High cover, and even though I didn’t think the color scheme on the covers looked quite as nice with the new photos at first, it’s kinda grown on me since then. Sorry to anyone who really preferred the look of the old covers.

So, if my holiday shorts collection is ready in time, then you’ll be hearing from me again very soon! And whether or not it is, I hope you all have a happy holiday season and are doing as well as can be expected this year. Take care of yourselves.

Now Selling Premade Covers and Audiobook Proofing services!

Hello, all. Apologies for the lack of updates since my last semi-confessional post, and apologies for not yet having my next book out. I am still on-track to release Flying High by the end of the month, but I don’t want to make any promises I’m not 100% sure I can keep, especially since a number of things are so up-in-the-air with my life at the moment, and I’m still struggling to find my romance-writing mojo again. So, uncovering and maintaining the motivation and inspiration to finish my upcoming books has been a difficult process to work through lately.

However, I have been dabbling in a few related interests of mine to keep my creative muscles limber, and have been considering ways to expand my side hustle as a writer, help out my fellow self-published authors, and make a few extra bucks. So, I now have a section for author services on my website! Currently, I only offer pre-made book covers and audiobook proof listening, but depending on how much free time I have and the interest whether or not people would be interested, I’d like to eventually expand into offering proofreading/copyediting services and more newsletter promo opportunities.

A sampling of my pre-made covers:

So, if you’re an author (or know an author) who’s looking for some eye-catching covers for your new romance book or series, or you’re looking for someone to give your audiobook files a listen to make sure the narration is error-free, hit me up! Also, if you’re interested in having me promote your book in my newsletter as well as on Twitter and Facebook, feel free to reach out via my contact form or email me directly at siena@sienanoble.com. Currently, I only take on book promos on a case-by-case basis based on my availability and what I think my readers would be most interested in (primarily contemporary, new adult, or erotic romance), and my mailing list and social media following are still small but growing, so keep that in mind. I’m open to either newsletter swaps where you promote a book of mine in return, or a solo promo for $10.

Just a Brief Update

Hi, everyone, I hope you’re all doing as well as can be expected given the fact that it’s 2020. This might seem out-of-the-blue since I’ve barely made an appearance online recently except to occasionally retweet things, but I figured now was as good a time as any to check in and let you all know that I am still alive.

It’s been over two months now since the release of High Risk, and yes, I was hoping to have had my next two upcoming books out by now, or at the very least one of them. I’m really sorry that it hasn’t happened yet and I won’t make any excuses for myself, and as tempted as I am to promise that Flying High will be out in the next week or two and Tangled Love soon after, I’ll honestly just be happy with myself if I get one of those out by the end of the fall, and both of them plus the final book of the Risky Business Trilogy out by the end of the year.

But as of right now, I’m really just trying to take things one day at a time. I hesitate to go into too much detail right now, especially given the fact that so much about my life situation is still in flux right now; sometime perhaps a couple months in the future I’ll come back to it and give you a more detailed rundown of what’s been going on with me, vomit up all the thoughts and emotions that have been building up inside me onto my blog, but I’m just not in the right place to do that yet. What I will say for right now is that I’m going through a moment of personal crisis that I feel like my life has been building up to for quite a while now. A lot of it has to do with my mental health, and all these complicated feelings of being lost and aimless, feeling like a childish loser for not having my shit figured out well into my late twenties, and the shame of putting off some critical decisions regarding my career and the possibility of going back to school out of a combination of anxiety and other reasons that I couldn’t put my finger on.

This personal crisis more or less came to a head recently, and while it’s lead to some really important mental/emotional breakthroughs in my life and I feel like I’m finally, slowly starting to get my life on the track I want it to be on, these breakthroughs have also revealed the fact that I still have a lot more big, scary steps to take in the right direction. In many ways, I feel a huge sense of relief and a new sense of clarity about myself and my life, but that sense of clarity has brought with it an onslaught of confusing, overwhelming realizations about the hard work ahead of me in the coming weeks and months, as well as other, more emotionally draining realizations about things I think I’ve known deep down for a while now that I have to do to truly move forward with my life, but finding the strength and the right opportunity to do with is monumentally hard.

And of course, tied up in all of this is the near-simultaneous revelation that so many of the difficulties I’ve faced since as far back as at least 8th grade may or may not be due to the fact that I might’ve been living with undiagnosed ADHD all this time. I still don’t know for sure yet, as one of the hard things I’ve been putting off for a long time has been going back to therapy (and I know I probably shouldn’t have been OUT of therapy of begin with, but that’s a whole other can of worms). The hell of it is, though, I don’t know if my extreme procrastination of that issue is an ADHD thing, or if it’s just the fact that the thought of opening up about my personal issues to a whole new therapist/counselor exhausts me just thinking about it, or if it’s a little bit of both. And maybe I don’t even have ADHD at all, that it’s just my regular old anxiety talking, that I’m concocting this excuse in my head to make myself feel better for being a lazy, unmotivated deadbeat who’s going nowhere in my life. Or maybe that nasty voice that’s telling me I’m a lazy deadbeat is just my depression telling me to hate myself. After all, no one thought to diagnose me with it before or suggest I might have it… but then again, maybe I was also downplaying those particular symptoms, or attributing them to other issues… I’m just a whole mess right now, ok?

And yeah, for that alone I know it’s obvious that I do seriously need to get that professional help no matter how hard it is to reach out and ask for it, regardless of whether or not I end up with a new diagnosis and potentially new, better methods of coping with it. And yes, I do plan on seeking out a therapist very soon. But with all the other thoughts fighting for attention in my head–applying for jobs, knowing that I’ll be moving sometime in the near future but not knowing exactly where or when, worrying about money and the fact that I practically have none after some high expenses in the past year, possibly applying to grad schools, worrying about the election and the pandemic and my mother’s health issues, AND THEN SOME MORE ON TOP OF THAT–it’s been a little hard to get my priorities straight. And unfortunately at the moment, the priority that’s come out on top has been my job search.

Needless to say, between all that and a few other factors I’ll likely get deeper into in that future blog post, it’s been extremely difficult to focus on writing. And getting into the right emotional headspace to write a romance in particular (or even read one) has been next to impossible, I’m afraid to admit. It’s so hard to put into words right now without getting too deeply into things that I’m not quite ready to talk about, but I’ve just been feeling so alienated from my characters and their emotional journies right now. I want to badly to just dive back in and fully immerse myself in their world and forget my own very unromantic problems, but finding the capacity to do so is a slow and frustrating process, and given all the more pressing concerns taking up room in my brain recently, I think it was ultimately for the best that I took a step back from writing for a couple months.

I really don’t have a good ending for this long-winded, rambling word vomit, other than to apologize, thank you for your eternal patience, and promise you that I haven’t completely lost my romance mojo. A huge part of me is itching to finally release my next book, and although I can’t promise you an exact date, I do want to assure you that Flying High will be out soon. By the end of this month, if I can manage it. If you made it this far into the blog post without your eyes glazing over, thank you so much for listening to me get a few things off my chest, and I’m sorry that so many of the details were so vague. I hope none of what I said was alarming to you; I can assure you that while so many things are up in the air for me right now, I am relatively safe and secure. And I apologize as well if I’ve harmed or appropriated the struggle of anyone who does have ADHD by the things that I’ve said. I’m working through a lot of confusion right now, and if I stepped out of line in any way, I’m truly sorry, and I want to learn how to do better.