Fifty Shades of Grey Revisited Chapter Four: THE DARKNESS

*Beleaguered sigh* Well… Flying High was supposed to have been out a week ago, but things got delayed by again mostly due to stuff I had to do for my new day job that I just started (oh yeah, I got a new job, btw, yay me; leave it to me to think I could manage to release a book and start a new full-time job at the same time while also still working another part-time job for at least the next couple months), plus I realized “oh shit, I should probably file my tax returns already before I forget and do it at literally the last possible moment yet again,” plus I finally got my official ADHD diagnosis back, except the small neuropsych practice that did my eval. doesn’t actually do treatment, so now I need to go through the whole process again of being referred to a doctor… you could say I got a little overwhelmed. Oh, and then my computer crapped out on me for a couple days and of course I panicked thinking I’d have to get a new one, but thankfully it wasn’t as bad as all that. This laptop is definitely on its last legs, though, so I’m thinking I might have to just bite the bullet and put at least some of that $1400 COVID relief check towards a new one.

By the time I was able to adequately focus on putting the final touches on my manuscript I figured I’d still be able to have it for sale by this past weekend, but alas, no. My books seem to usually get stuck in review on KDP for a while, so we’ll see how this week goes. Sorry it looks like it’ll still be at least a few more days, but hey, at least you have this recap to tide you over, right?

Basically how I’m feeling right about now…

Oh, and in other news that you may or may not care about, I literally just found out that Freed (the upcoming final installment of 50 Shades from Christian’s POV) is going to be 768 pages long. That’s a little less than two hundred pages longer than the original Fifty Shades Freed, and on average a little over two hundred pages longer than most of the other books in the series. What’s contained within those extra 200 pages remains to be seen. The secrets of the universe? A surprise “ten years later” epilogue in which Ana fakes her own death to escape her abusive marriage and in the course of the investigation it’s revealed that Christian was a serial killer all along? Maybe after selling her soul in exchange for these books being a massive success, ELJ was forced to uphold her end of the bargain by copying and pasting an excerpt from the Necronomicon right in the middle of the book, and all who read it shall be damned for eternity. All I know is Freed was in the “books you make like” section of the Amazon page of one of my books, so she’d better appreciate the free promotion I’m unwillingly giving her.


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Fifty Shades of Grey Revisited Chapter One: So, We Meet Again, my Old Nemesis

It’s 2021, bitches, and do you know what that means? Yep, it’s the 10th anniversary we’ve all (?) been waiting for: Fifty Shades officially turns a decade old.

I feel like I’ll be getting a lot of mileage out of Lonely Island jokes since there’s really nothing more early-mid 2010’s than Fifty Shades and The Lonely Island.

So, uh, yeah, we’re really doing this. This is where my life is at right now. As you might recall from my last blog post, I had a few more announcements that I didn’t get around to since it got just a little long-winded. So, surprise! You’re getting the chapter-by-fucking-chapter Fifty Shades sporking/recap/(mental)breakdown you didn’t ask for, because it’s not like that’s ever been done before.

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So, It Looks Like I Have ADHD… (And So Does my Main Character…)

Long time no see, my lovely readers! I know it’s been a hot minute since you’ve heard from me, as I’ve just been kind of a creepy recluse for the past half a year or so who keeps postponing book releases and retweeting things on Twitter. But, if you happen to recall my last couple blog posts and more recent stream-of-consciousness Twitter threads (though I don’t know why you would), then you should have a fairly decent idea of what’s been going on with me.

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A Quick Update and Apology

Hello, all. First off, a quick apology to those of you how might’ve already pre-ordered Flying High for Dec. 14th. Some of you are probably surprised and maybe a little upset that it was on pre-order, but as I’m embarrassed that I’ve had to move and cancel pre-orders in the past and mostly wanted to do so to make setting up links in the backmatter of my other books and promotional stuff easier, I hesitated to make a big announcement about it. As you have probably already guessed, I once again had to adjust the release date. It will be out once and for all on Dec. 26, however, and I’m also working hard to bring you an early Christmas surprise… though given all the wild ups and downs that have been happening in my life lately that lead to me postponing my upcoming releases yet again that I’d been literally in tears over with both anxiety and excitement, I can’t make any promises. 

You might have also noticed that Dec. 26 was originally the pre-order release date for Tangled Love, and probably still appears as such on Amazon as you’re reading this email, since KDP can be pretty slow to update. Long story short (and I promise I’ll give you more details on what’s been going on with me, like I promised in a blog post months back, but the basic version is I now know much of my depression and anxiety stem from ADHD, yay), after a lot of hard deliberation, I decided to yet AGAIN switch the planned release dates of Flying High and Tangled Love. I know, I know, I really need to figure out how to focus on one single writing project long enough to finish it in a reasonable time, but I promise I’m working on it. Like, starting therapy with a new counselor and possibly getting on medication working on it.

So, the final (I hope and pray) and absolute release dates for each book will be Dec. 26 and Jan 9, respectively. And I mean it when I say this was hard, because I’ve been beating myself up over the fact that it’s already been over TWO YEARS since Strictly Business came out, and I’m ashamed of the fact that I’ll now be pushing the release of book three of The Loft series into year 3. I figured I might as well give up and throw the whole thing out before I could stomach doing that, but it is what it is at this point, and I know myself at least well enough to know that I can’t have it done in time for the end of 2020. I hope that those of you who’ve enjoyed Tera and Eric’s story so far are still willing to stick it out for just a few more weeks, because despite how long it’s taken, I am really proud of this latest installment–of how far they’ve come as characters and how far I’ve come in my writing since my first book.

Did I say this was going to be quick? Sorry about that. Anyway, that’s the somewhat abbreviated version of what’s been up with me, and I hope you all aren’t too mad at me and are still eager for the next installments of both of my ongoing series. I will say that I am very hopeful about next year (and yes, I know I’ve said that kind of thing several times in the past), and I have a lot of big plans. And while I am trying to be realistic about things, I do also have reason to believe that things are genuinely turning around for me this time, and that next year I’ll actually be able to put out multiple books. I mean, I guess it helps that I’m always jumping around between projects and I basically have six novels entirely plotted out in my head at any given time…

And I wasn’t kidding when I said there might be a Christmas surprise to look forward to in a few days… the surprise being if I can actually finish it before Christmas! Yay me for having a literally last-minute bright idea to bring a bunch of half-baked and abandoned side projects together for a holiday-themed short story collection when I really needed to be working on one of my two long-overdue books. To be fair to myself, though, I do feel like it was good for my mental health during a period when I’ve pretty much been at rock bottom to take a break from pulling my hair out trying to focus on my main books to write a few side stories featuring my characters that were mostly just for me, but hey, if you guys want to read them as well, that would be amazing.

And just one final note, you might have also noticed that the model stock photos on the covers of High Risk and Risky Business have been switched and were wondering why. Well, I’m guessing a hand lightly cupping the underside of a boob is too risque for Amazon, because the original cover was rejected when I tried to submit High Risk for Amazon ads a few months back. The simplest solution at the time seemed to be to swap it out for the “more innocent” pose on the Flying High cover, and even though I didn’t think the color scheme on the covers looked quite as nice with the new photos at first, it’s kinda grown on me since then. Sorry to anyone who really preferred the look of the old covers.

So, if my holiday shorts collection is ready in time, then you’ll be hearing from me again very soon! And whether or not it is, I hope you all have a happy holiday season and are doing as well as can be expected this year. Take care of yourselves.

Now Selling Premade Covers and Audiobook Proofing services!

Hello, all. Apologies for the lack of updates since my last semi-confessional post, and apologies for not yet having my next book out. I am still on-track to release Flying High by the end of the month, but I don’t want to make any promises I’m not 100% sure I can keep, especially since a number of things are so up-in-the-air with my life at the moment, and I’m still struggling to find my romance-writing mojo again. So, uncovering and maintaining the motivation and inspiration to finish my upcoming books has been a difficult process to work through lately.

However, I have been dabbling in a few related interests of mine to keep my creative muscles limber, and have been considering ways to expand my side hustle as a writer, help out my fellow self-published authors, and make a few extra bucks. So, I now have a section for author services on my website! Currently, I only offer pre-made book covers and audiobook proof listening, but depending on how much free time I have and the interest whether or not people would be interested, I’d like to eventually expand into offering proofreading/copyediting services and more newsletter promo opportunities.

A sampling of my pre-made covers:

So, if you’re an author (or know an author) who’s looking for some eye-catching covers for your new romance book or series, or you’re looking for someone to give your audiobook files a listen to make sure the narration is error-free, hit me up! Also, if you’re interested in having me promote your book in my newsletter as well as on Twitter and Facebook, feel free to reach out via my contact form or email me directly at siena@sienanoble.com. Currently, I only take on book promos on a case-by-case basis based on my availability and what I think my readers would be most interested in (primarily contemporary, new adult, or erotic romance), and my mailing list and social media following are still small but growing, so keep that in mind. I’m open to either newsletter swaps where you promote a book of mine in return, or a solo promo for $10.

I have no excuse… (I’m an absolute doofus)

Hello, everyone. I’m really sorry to make you all mad, but Flying High–as some of you who might’ve pre-ordered the book may already be aware of–will unfortunately not be coming out tomorrow. I really don’t have a good excuse this time, except that in my haste to get the book uploaded on time in the middle of an extremely stressful week, I literally uploaded the wrong manuscript. At least, I’m pretty sure I did, but by the time I realized my blunder, it was too late to go back and check, as it was already in the phase of publishing on KDP when changes can no longer be made.

I thought I might be able to exploit a sorta-loophole the night before release day (meaning, tonight), by uploading the correct manuscript at midnight GMT, or 8:00 my time, pray that by the time it was 12:00 my time the changes went through, and then ask KDP to push the updated content to any readers who had received the wrong version of the book earlier. 

Buuuut… it gets worse. I have no idea what I did to deserve such bad luck, but when I went to look for the correct final draft to upload, it turns out that a number of edits I’d made hadn’t been saved, and what I’d thought was the final draft was simply not there. So, after dramatically banging my head on my desk and weeping pathetically for a bit, I really started to panic, and that’s when I proceeded to make more dumb mistakes. First, I sent a desperate email to KDP to ask them to pretty please push back my pre-order’s release date a few days so that I could re-upload the book once I redid those edits. Unfortunately, as it was already past the upload deadline, nothing could be done. Normally, I’d just accept that I’d have to go back to plan A and try to use that timezone loophole to sneak in the new manuscript, but for the past several days I’ve still been incredibly busy and burned out from work and things that are still going on with my family, I was starting to panic that I wasn’t going to be able to make those changes to the final draft again in time.

So, here we are now, with another long-winded explanation you didn’t want, for why a book you probably no longer care to wait for has been delayed for another week. The bright side for me is, I discovered far too late that due to the pandemic, KDP is temporarily relaxing their strict penalties for delaying or canceling pre-orders, so since I asked pretty-please, I am now able to set up pre-orders in the future. But… that still means that you won’t be getting Flying High until August 22. I’m so sorry and so embarrassed that I keep pushing this book back by a week and canceling pre-orders; all I can do is promise you that this is the last time, and hope that you believe me. And another bright spot: for those of you who like audiobooks, production finally just wrapped up on Strictly Business, so it should be coming to Audible soon (though their review process can take anywhere from a couple days to a month, so who knows).

Thank you all again for sticking by me; trust me, I know just how frustrating this is, and if you think this book is no longer worth the wait, I completely understand and wouldn’t blame you at all. But if you don’t mind hanging around for a little bit longer, I promise you you’re in for a fantastic continuation of Kiera and Caleb’s story. 

A Sneak Peek at Flying High…

Hello, my lovely readers! I hope you’ve been doing well the last few days. Thanks so much for hanging in there while my attention from finishing up Flying High. It’s been a rough and stressful week so far and it’s not over yet, but my family member that was going through a health crisis is doing better and things in general are starting to settle down.

But to tide you over until Flying High officially comes out next Friday, how about an exclusive excerpt?

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Some News on Flying High…

Hello, everyone. Sorry I don’t have better news for you all, but I wanted to give you a heads up that the release of Flying High that was originally scheduled for this Saturday (Aug. 8th) may or may not have to be delayed for a few days. Something personal has come up that I have to prioritize, and although I’m trying as hard as I can to have the final draft of the book ready to upload before the Amazon pre-order deadline tomorrow evening (Aug. 4th), I’m not 100% confident I’ll be able to make it happen. I apologize to all of you who may have pre-ordered the book already; if it ends up not going live on the 8th, I can promise you that it will still be available for its pre-order/release week price of $2.99 when it does come out, which should be no later than Aug. 11th. For those of you who might not typically pre-order books, Amazon does not charge for it until the book is delivered on release day, so if it does end up being canceled, you will not have to pay twice if you still choose to buy the book when it does come out. Also, a few of you might have pre-ordered it early on before I decided to drop the release price from $3.99 to $2.99, so in case it does end up going live on time, I apologize as well that you ended up paying more; that was poor planning on my part.

Again, thank you all for your patience with this. I can at least promise those of you who’ve been around for a while that this won’t be another Loft series situation where I leave you hanging for 2 years for a sequel. I will admit that I did fumble this planned back-to-back release a bit, getting overconfident that since this was originally one book split into two, I could easily have book two out in a super short amount of time. And things were actually going great until yesterday.

Again, I just want to reiterate that there is a chance that I could get it uploaded in time, but I don’t want to overextend myself when there are other, more urgent things dividing my attention, and I don’t want to deliver an inferior product to you. I made an aggravating mistake with High Risk and ended up uploading a draft that hadn’t been fully edited initially, and I don’t want something like that to happen again. Thank you all for understanding while I deal with this emergency. I’m still very much looking forward to sharing the next chapter of this story with you, and I hope you don’t mind waiting a few extra days.

Take care,
Siena